Forever Pregnant

The Forever Pregnant article on the Washington Post sure has freaked out the feminist community.

I can see why.

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Pre-pregnant, huh? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about making sure that you're doing the prenatal vitamins and all that once you've decided that you're going to try and conceive a baby. The establishment's counterargument to that is "because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed."

So, for crying out loud, why aren't we working to get better access to contraception that does work to people instead of making sure that we're all on prenatal vitamins!?!?!

UK Government Will PUSH Homebirth

How's that for a wild turn of events?

Not Like We Don't Already Know This...

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here"

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.

And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.

And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner.

And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.

And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school.

And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway?

Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers..

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us

Hang in there.

In the end we can only do the best we can.

Tell them every day that we love them.

And pray.

Something Inherently Racist

According to a new report released by Save the Children on Monday, the US infant mortality rate ranks the lowest (except for Latvia) of the 33 industrialized powers.

Get this: part of what's driving our poor performance is:

by racial and income health care disparities. Among U.S. blacks, there are 9 deaths per 1,000 live births, closer to rates in developing nations than to those in the industrialized world.

The United States is tied with Hungary, Malta, Poland and Slovakia with a death rate of nearly 5 per 1,000 babies, but the rate among African-Americans is 9? Nearly twice the nationalized rate?

Blogging for Radical Fun

What brings me fun? Joy? Delight?

Quilting.

I am a serious fabric-o-holic. I have a fabric stash the size of 3 closets and think that I might just have enough. Who am I kidding? I'll never have enough, even though I just bought an entire freaking bolt of the stuff.

Right now I'm working on a Baltimore Album Quilt - a quilt the very Victorian style developed by the good ladies of Baltimore in the 1840s and 1850s. There's something thrilling about taking large pieces of fabric, cutting them into smaller pieces and sewing them back together again. It just gives me shivers of joy.

Corresponding to the Joy of Quilting is the Joy of Fabric Shopping. Right now my favorite store is the Seminole Sampler. Fabulous collection of batik fabric. I'm a Batik Freak. I'm Weak for Batik.

Among quilters, fabric shopping is called SEX. Stash Enhancement eXperience. I love SEX.

• When you go fabric shopping with your quilter buddies, it's group SEX.
• When you buy something online, it's called cyber SEX.
• When you do mail order, it's called phone SEX (because you have to call to place the order.)
• When you sit at home by yourself and fondle your fabric, it's called, well, er, umm, never mind.
  
• When you go to a 4 day quilt show with your closest girlfriends, stay in a hotel, drink lots of wine, complain about your spouses and children (who are not allowed to attend), buy lots of fabric and look at amazing, beautiful wonderful quilts, it's called therapy.

Another Midwifery Practice Closes

Who will care for my daughters? From the Cincinnati Enquirer:

International Midwives Day on May 5 should be an official day of mourning in Cincinnati this year. The April 30 closure of the Midwives Care practice here after 20 years deserves at least that recognition. I'm grateful for the chance to have had one more appointment before the elimination of this vital option in women's health care.

It's so painful to contemplate not returning to the yellow Victorian house in Northside for gynecological care. Hard to imagine not being greeted by midwife Jackie Gruer in the sunny, high-ceilinged foyer before she talks me through the clinical part of the visit.

It feels like a punch in the gut. A lifeline has been cut. An oasis has gone dry. And it's not just here; midwifery practices around the country are closing. It's a clear wake-up call to the harsh realities of health care economics and childbirth in this country.

Skyrocketing malpractice insurance costs were a key factor in the demise of Midwives Care. From 2004 to 2006, their premiums more than tripled. They pursued every possible avenue to survive, from converting to nonprofit status to holding fundraisers. Liability costs hit nurse-midwives like Gruer doubly hard, because they must practice with a collaborating physician who incurs additional liability by entering into such an arrangement. But without the physician, nurse-midwives cannot legally practice.

Midwives long have been heralded for providing lower-cost maternity care, with fewer surgical deliveries and other interventions. But in the current environment, these strengths evidently are detriments, since hospitals receive significantly less revenue for a vaginal birth than a Caesarean section. It's only logical that hospitals would act to ensure their own survival, though at the expense of woman-centered care.

Our culture's fundamental distrust of childbirth only exacerbates liability and other financial issues, and it's difficult to say whether this distrust is a cause or a result. We are losing sight of birth as a normal life event. Though birth usually occurs within the medical system, it is not pathological. Perhaps if attitudes about birth itself could be changed, the other aspects would fall into place. Jackie Gruer, in her inimitable way, hopes to make that happen by evolving Midwives Care into an education and advocacy organization. If anybody can do it, she can. I wish her my heartfelt best.

Peg Conway and her husband, Joe, are the parents of three children, all born with midwives. They live in Amberley Village.

Colic and Postpartum Depression

According to a new study, there is a compelling link between colicky babies and postpartum depression.

Researchers say the study sends a clear message to pediatricians: If you are treating a colicky baby, check on the moms, too. Ask them how they are feeling and if they have support from family and friends. When appropriate, refer women to mental health providers.

Wow - compelling evidence that support for mothers with new babies is extremely extremely important. So, bake them casseroles, offer to clean house, run errands or just watch the baby so she can take a shower.

I just love it when common wisdom is confirmed by science. Who knew that making slumgullion could be a feminist act?